One of the many uncomfortable things that leaders regularly face is emotions. This is no surprise - emotions are an integral part of life. They're also critical to many cognitive processes within the brain, particularly related to attention and memory. Both their own and others - within team members, peers, leaders and customers.
During an ICF (International Coaching Federation) event, Ursula Pottinga shared 4 common challenges she sees when working with executives. The 3rd challenge was the discomfort many executives have around emotions, particularly at work. Because of this, emotions can - and often are - suppressed or ignored.
"Emotions are tunnels. You have to move all the way through them to get to the light at the end.” Emily Nagowski
Image by Aaron Burden
The longer you ignore the emotion, the longer it will stay in the background, keeping you in the "tunnel". Yet the physiological reaction in your brain, when noradrenaline is released, lasts less than 90 seconds:
"Emotion only lasts in our bodies for about 90 seconds. After that, the physical reaction dissipates, UNLESS our cognitive brain kicks in and starts connecting our anger with past events." Dr Jill Bolte Taylor, Neuroanatomist, Harvard University
The impact of the emotion can last a lot longer than the initial 90 seconds - as part of rumination or over-thinking. This may happen when something that's happened in the present has reminded us of, perhaps triggered, a past experience. Jill Bolte Taylor describes this, and her way of responding, in this 3 minute video:
Being able to name the emotion accurately can really help. Dr Marc Brackett's Mood Meter PDF is a simple tool that groups common emotions into 4 distinct groups. For example, rather than saying you're stressed, it's helpful to be able to identify the emotion as apprehension or restlessness. If you share more specific emotions with others, it can also help them to better understand what you're experiencing in that moment.
It can also be helpful to see patterns over time, for example by noting your mood at regular times of the day. This could be at the start and end of your work day, or as part of a daily journaling exercise. Dr Marc Brackett, who created the above PDF, is also involved in How We Feel, which has an Apple and Android app that will track your mood over time, provide insights and offer suggestions.
This article was originally published on LinkedIn as part of a fortnightly Progression newsletter. Subscribe here.
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