Narrative Coaching is a way to identify, understand and adapt the stories that shape our behaviour and decisions.
What are the stories you tell yourself? Do they propel you forward, or hold you back?
By becoming more aware of these stories, we understand ourselves better. We can also change these stories, or create entirely new ones, to make more intentional choices in future.
"The stories we tell literally make the world. If you want to change the world, you need to change your story." Michael Margolis
What happens in Narrative Coaching?
When there is a possible narrative impacting the client and their goal, a coach may invite them to consider a different approach: exploring the narrative. Using a range of techniques, a coach will partner with the client to identify one of the stories, name it, and externalise it.
Taking something out of your head – “externalising it” – creates an opportunity to look at it from different perspectives. It can also help you to take a more objective view - the story is not you. As you start to understand where it comes from, you can see when it’s helpful, and if it’s become outdated or unhelpful in certain situations. This increases your self-awareness, creating a deeper understanding of why you behave like you do.
In some cases this also reduces shame or guilt about those behaviours, as they make more sense. They may or may not be ideal behaviours for the situation. Either way, when you understand why they happen, you build your self-awareness, and increase the chance of more intentional behaviour in future.
From here, you can choose: adapt the story, use it less often, or create a new one?
Note that Narrative Coaching is deep coaching work. It is rarely used in a first session. It's also not always the best approach, depending on the client's goals.
Why do stories matter?
"People use stories to structure their experience, and to help them make sense and meaning." Dr. David Drake
As individuals, we naturally look for patterns to make sense of the world. In an unpredictable world, many people crave certainty and predictability. These patterns might simply be coincidental. They often become stories unintentionally, when we start to expect or believe that certain things will happen. E.g. in the past, some cultures believed rainfall was related to human behaviour.
As a society, stories are memorable. They're an effective way to share knowledge, spread ideas and beliefs, and to persuade others to join your cause.
Where do these stories come from?
These internal narratives or stories are usually created subconsciously. They might be:
adopted from those around us
inherited from our parents, e.g. our beliefs about money
influenced by popular culture.
When we are unaware of the stories we tell ourselves, it's harder to understand why we behave in certain ways. It's also harder to act in alignment with our values, if we haven't been intentional in shaping our internal narrative.
In organisations, there are usually official stories - about the history of the organisation, the challenges it's faced, the way it operates - and informal stories, the unspoken or rarely shared beliefs that shape the behaviour of the people within it.
What happens when you change your stories?
When you shape your stories intentionally, over time:
Your perceptions change
Your behaviours change
Your outcomes change
And your beliefs can change.
Curious to know more?
You can book a free 20 minute call below.
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